Prologue

In order to properly enjoy the posts I must first introduce a couple of the main characters. They are real people and my observations are all (loosely?) based on true events…with just a hint of literary license.

But first a short history of how we met. It’s 1987 and I am “all that.” Why? Because I just got picked to attend Bell Atlantic’s prestigious “Project Top Gun!” Held at the sprawling Eagle Lodge corporate training facility in Pennsylvania, the curriculum is comprised of five, three-week segments spread out over the course of a year. At the time a very coveted “get.” Met with my boss who briefed me on all the possible upsides then closed by reciting Newton’s Gravitation Equation quantifying that shit indeed flows downhill and if I let down his boss, the Vice President who sponsored me, he’s taking me down with him. No worries there, I was laser focused on how I would handle pulling 8g’s while strafing Hondas on the Blue Route…I was going to be a “gunner”!

In my package, I was directed to attend a first night “social” where I will convene with the other “best of the best” designees and begin the process of formulating highly efficient teams…bummer, here I thought we would be going over aerial photos depicting possible targets of opportunity. I pull myself together and after a little work locating the appropriate hangar, quickly taxi in.

It was there I met two of the guys who would become my best of friends, Gunner Dave and his RIO Chris, both from the old C&P Phone Company. Davy, renowned for his quiet, self deprecating and reserved demeanor and Chrissy for his work with a global demolition company where he blew things up when not deflowering the local female population. Buddy Z joined our group later and only after enduring a rigorous interview process. Having met and become close to these guys has fundamentally changed my life…and I’m lucky to have had the opportunity. More on this topic another time but it should suffice as background as these boys are prominently mentioned in many posts. Without them there would be no stories and no blog, which might not be the worst thing to happen but we’ll see. Here’s a quick background on each to help when viewing my “writings,” my “body of work,” my “cause de celebre”…or whatever you call this drivel.

• Davy; probably my best friend, certainly in the top two or three, blah, blah, blah great guy blah, blah, blah…good golfer…hits the ball a mile, sometimes even in the fairway.
• Chris H; as above in every respect regarding the blah, blah, blah…except the golf. His area of expertise lies more with wrenching old BMWs. Once lost a match by 5-jacking the last hole which fortunately resulted in downgrading his other 100 or so 4-jacks as not so special. Shockingly and with proper oversight, he is actually capable of “going low”…
• Gregg Z; same as above, blah, blah, blah…top of my list. Attended Top Gun’s inaugural session which wasn’t graded and therefore didn’t count, further contributing to his anxiety which in-turn was responsible for stifling his growth potential affording him unfettered access to a wonderfully unfulfilling yet resoundingly mediocre career. However even he isn’t without some noteworthy success. He was a founding member (along with Dave) of the highly sought after “100 Club” where membership was earned only after securing $100K of income to compliment 100 rounds of golf in a calendar year. He is also recognized for receiving the coveted “Tries Hard Award” from his primary federal government account and ironing his socks. Probably the best all-around golfer, definitely the most fastidious…not that there’s anything wrong with that.

So there they are…you’ll get to know them better as you read on, but this will get you started. Me? Golf? I’m fighting to retain the third spot and losing ground daily. Still capable of stringing together some good rounds, so long as the pain drugs don’t end before the round does. Hope you enjoy…